Well, it's been way too long since I last wrote and I've got no excuse for that really, since I've been off work for 4 weeks. Yes, as my job is active and involves a lot of walking, I've had to rest because of my back and hip pain. I was quite worried that this might prevent me from entering Carmel and it was the moment of realisation that it could all be taken away from me, that made me realise how much Carmel means to me.
I've been to the hospital, as well as having physio and am now paying to see an Osteopath and thankfully, it appears to be nothing serious. As long as I stretch and strengthen the muscles that have shortened from an old injury, I should be okay. It has taught me two things: 1) never ignore pain, as it gets worse and 2) God is good and I feel that my pain peaked prior to my entering Carmel so that I could get sorted first; it wouldn't work if I went in without having things resolved!
Today, I have spoken to work and as I feel that my health should be sorted by the time of my entry on 24th January, I am writing today to hand in my notice. It feels scary, don't get me wrong, but I remember that the Enemy can create negative feelings to keep us away from God. So I push those feelings of concern aside and place my trust in God, Who I know will be pleased that I am even trying to pursue my vocation. Whether it works out or not, I believe I am doing His Will at the moment.
And as for the forms, I have sent in my request to enter Carmel as a Postulant, but have one more form to sign, which needs a witness and I should be able to get this sorted today!
- Carmelite Aspirant
- I've just turned 27 and am entering Carmel on 24th January 2009. My first full day will be on 25th January, the Conversion of Saint Paul, of whose year this is and whose school I went to and sisters I loved. So I am depending on him to help convert me into a good Carmelite! I've wanted to become a nun on and off since the age of 11. Although I can't remember the moment I felt drawn to Carmel, I think it was partly because of reading about St Therese when I was 11 or 12. I feel I may have a natural inclination towards this way of life, altough getting up at 5.30 will not feel natural, I'm sure! I spent 2 weeks as an Aspirant in October 2008 and I loved it and came back feeling that I should go back and see if becoming a Carmelite is the Will of God and my route to holiness.